A life without, a life with love

I wish I had to strength to give James the best gift of all, a life without ever meeting me. I keep going through wishing I had never come into James’ life. He was such an amazing father to our girls, and I want him to have the family I can’t give him so badly. I see the pain in his eyes when we go out and see babies. I hear the stories of him coming home from work and someone asking him, “How are the twins doing?” I see him with tears in his eyes and it kills me to know that every tear he sheds is because of me and my failures. I love my girls and would never wish they didn’t come into our life (no matter how brief) but James is all I have and I caused him the worst pain…

My major flaw is I love him so much, and I am so selfish, that I can’t let him go…

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