Roses in December

“God gives us memories so that we might have roses in December.”

My mother’s rose bush bloomed with two roses this December. My girls were never meant for this world, but their memories will live forever.

Three important things happened to me today. First off, I wanted to have a physical reminder of my girls. I ordered James and I black arm bracelets with the girls’ names on them in pink. I can’t wait for them to get here. There will always be that black mark on my life, but the girls will always shine through in pink!

I had a visit from the UPS driver today, although I wanted to tell him off for asking how my day was and wishing me Happy Holidays, I didn’t. I said it was ok, and thank you. I received two packages.

One was a book I ordered a couple of days ago called, Roses in December. It is a book/journey of a mother with a grieving heart. Maybe I will turn all this around and help others as well. I want all that has happened to me to be for a purpose. If I have to suffer like this, I want something good to come out of it, if not for myself and my family, then for someone else who is lost and grieving.

The second package was something very special. It made me smile. Something that didn’t feel forced for the first time in over a week. A very special friend of mine sent me a package she knew I would love. She has been an amazing support to me, allowing me to speak my mind, say what ever the hell I wanted, and not trying to coddle me and tell me everything will be ok. It has helped me so much. Allowing me to grieve in my own way is what I need. I am tired of the, “It will happen agains,” the, “It will all be oks,” and other bullshit “I don’t know what to say” comments. She lets me…be me. She is one hell of a friend and came to me just like “Roses in December.” By chance, an overheard conversation by a passer by.

God places people in our lives, because he knows one day we will need them. It may not be for minutes, hours, days or years, but they are there for a reason.

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