Today, I took time to clean the kitchen, vacuum the living room, bedroom, and entry, swept and cleaned the kitchen floor. I am doing everything to keep myself busy. I have only cried twice today which is amazing for me. I miss my girls so much and my heart always feels so heavy. I feel lost and honestly… a little crazy.
While cleaning, I remembered just before I ruptured that I had old bananas frozen. I could make James banana nut muffins. I love to bake and cook, why not?
As I was making the banana cashew muffins I came to a realization. One I wasn’t so happy with. I do not care to bake anymore. This is the first I have baked since Oct 24th, 2012 and I hated doing it. It was so tedious. Then I thought about the first meal I make since Oct which was the other night. I hated every minute of that too. I no long care for cooking. I am really glad I found this out now. I am part of a “Lunch Club” with my work where we cook for each other once a month. I will be quitting that now. My days are a roller coaster and I can’t imagine having to cook for other people on a downhill ride.
So, lesson for today: I need to stick to crafting. I have four orders for my keepsake necklaces and that will take me over a month to finish. I only have one resin mold and it takes each one 48 hours to cure, not including the layering for adding the rice and flower parts. I love doing this stuff. I wish I could make a living doing my painting and necklaces. Oh well.
Any more orders?? 🙂