Facebook, how I hate thee

Why do I torture myself with staying on Facebook. I honestly have sat here and held my pointer over the deactivate button several times this week. I constantly check it for my support groups, but am ambushed by the things I don’t want to see.

But, slowly I have deactivated all photos and photo updates from several friends. I know, I know. Petty and Selfish right? I don’t care. Right now, I honestly can’t stand the things people are complaining about. I know there are people out there with greater tragedies than I, but right now I can’t see that.

I cry when I read someone complaining about having to stay up all night and getting no sleep with their baby, or not getting exactly what they want with them. Do they not see just how amazingly lucky they are. I would give anything to never get another nights sleep due to my children.

Here’s to another sleepless night due to the nightmares of seeing my children die over and over again in my sleep.

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7 thoughts on “Facebook, how I hate thee

  1. It’s not at all petty and selfish. You do what you need to do to stay sane and gain a little peace in your life. I for one don’t believe there is anything more tragic than watching your children die. Facebook is both evil and incredibly helpful. I used it as my outlet at the beginning but blocked several people from my newsfeed. Are you friends with The Compassionate Friends? I would recommend them if you are not.

    • No, I’m not. I am on ‘life after pPROM loss.’ I will look that one up though. I made my selfish comment because of a precious comment where someone called me heartless because oft posts about pregnant friends.

  2. krystal you of all people should know you cant compare your life or situation or even yourself to other people. I can say that as a mom i do complain about the work it is and exhausting moments and that is my right as a mom but that doesnt mean that i am not greatful and not just for my kids but every moment. i cant tell what is going to happen from one second to the next so i do live in the moment as much as possible and cherish all i can. im sure u are greatful for the time u had with your girls, but you need to know they want you to be happy and that if you feel guilty that isnt what they would want. especially if you decide to try again, that guilt will eat you alive and think of the other child. life is learning lessons, they dont ever stop trying to teach us and if we are lucky we get the message. being mad and jealous of other ppl and their kids is normal and lasting but i think you are affraid to let yourself feel the pain and conquer it i know you are strong and will find the way to heal but i know you better than comparing yourself to someone else all people have their own path and they are all different allow yourself to heal the way that only you can and please if you have to cut off facebook due to idiots or stay in a hotel to get away from everything it is OK we should all understand just touch base with us once in a while to let us know you are doing what you can

  3. I feel exactly the same. I’ve had to block updates on my newsfeed from my brother and his wife. Their daughter was born exactly two weeks after I gave birth to our twins, the night before their funeral. I felt physically sick when I received the text message from my brother saying how happy and excited they were to announce their new arrival, and how proud he was of his wife for managing with ‘just gas and air.’ I too just had gas and air, pushing out babies I knew would not survive, but the only message my husband got to send out was telling people it was now over, I’d given birth to two boys, and I was resting.

    The day after our boys’ funeral, my sister-in-law was moaning on FB about having to get up so often to feed her new baby. I could not believe her insensitivity. I blocked her there and then.

    If only these people knew how blessed they are and could spare a moment for those of us who are having to cope with the death of their children.

    • Amy,

      I am so sorry. Not only for the loss of your heroic boys, but for having to deal with someone so close not understanding what a traumatic you were going through, it just isn’t fair. I hope my girls meet your boys and are having a great time, and are looking over us right now.

      If it hasn’t happened to you, you can’t possibly understand. pPROM in itself is so very traumatic, then if you have to couple a loss on top (or two in our cases) it can become mind numbing.

      If you ever just want to talk feel free to email me kastreet@gmail.com even if it is just to bitch about the day! Hang in there momma, we shouldn’t have to…but we will get through this. **hugs**

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