I had been doing so well lately, I thought maybe I could get through it with our vacation approaching. Then last night it hit me hard again. I had a wave of sorrow and depression so heavy, I hadn’t felt like that since I broke down in the NICU hallway after the Dr. came out shaking his head. Last night, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out. There was no hope, no light, nothing.
I haven’t been writing to the girls everyday lately. Maybe that is what happened. I don’t know, there are just so many questions and no answers.