I’ll try defying gravity

I’ve been feeling odd lately, physically. I’ve talked to James about it some, but I just can’t shake it. It seems to get worse at night when I lay down to go to sleep, actually keeping me from sleeping most of the time. I will try my best to describe it.

I’m beginning to feel like the force of gravity is increasing. I don’t feel heavier, it is that same feeling you get after you have been on a trampoline for awhile, then you get off and try to jump on solid ground. You don’t feel any different/heavier, you just feel like the force of gravity is stronger.

I feel like more of an energy than a person, not a solid form. It is trapped inside of a humanoid shell. This part is very hard to describe. It is like there is this hollow shell anchored to the earth by a increased gravitational force and my energy/life force was forced into it. Sometimes I even feel like the energy has all floated to the tops of whatever part of my body it is in, all compartmentalized. Sort of like what I imagine someone would feel if there were in minimal gravity situation and put themselves in a suit to keep them on the ground. It would surely keep them from floating off, but not floating to the top of the suit.

I feel like the energy is taking up most space in my hollow outside, except where my womb should be, it is just devoid. I am actually feel the absence there. The nothingness. But, that is not my main point.

I feel this energy wants to float off, drift, I don’t know, fly. But it is being grounded by my body. Sometimes I feel as if I should be walking on my tiptoes to try and help, but the increased gravitational force is making it impossible.

I’ve tried looking this up on the internet, but nothing is coming up really. This is NOT just a feeling I am having. I am physically experiencing this. I don’t know, I just had to vocalize it. It just feels like something is physically pulling my arms and legs down to earth at a greater force than our gravity.


One thought on “I’ll try defying gravity

  1. I’ve been thinking about this post a lot since I first read it trying to come up with some sort of answer. I don’t have one, except to say that grief is very physical. Way more physical than I would have ever imagined.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s