Even my parakeets can do what I cannot, have a child to take care of. One of my parakeets has been laying eggs for awhile now, but has never sat on them. Usually they get eaten. Then, the day after we came home from the hospital with empty arms, she started to sit on them. Last night, one of them hatched. We really were not expecting them to hatch. It is all pink, featherless, and loud.
It just reminded me of how much I groomed my nest, took care of it, incubated my little ones…. and still came home with empty arms. No hungry cries.
I keep trying to figure out what I am going to do with the crib, all the baby clothes, the diaper bag, the baby detergent, the formula, the everything I don’t have in my life…
I can’t throw it away, I throw away all hope
I can’t give it away, I would be giving away all that I have of my children
I can’t look at it, it hurts way too much
So I store it, out of my sight. But it is just like the Tell Tale Heart. Even though they are tucked away, I can still hear the alarms of the monitors going off in the NICU when I am near their place of rest.
Like and empty nest, all of my children have wings and have flown off leaving me here to clean up the mess left behind.
Just remember, while your baby learns to walk… my babies learn to fly.