Spent a little while tonight thinking about how my girls would be 2 months old next week. I was a little broken up, so I decided to take my mind off it and make something special for James. I made homemade chocolate pudding tonight. It was amazing, and is cooling in the fridge as I type this. I bet the girls would have loved it when old enough.
Through all this, I have made some amazing new friends on the internet. Other mother’s who have experienced pPROM and loss. One woman, I have become very close with. Even emotionally invested. She too lost twins to pRPOM and can only conceive via IVF. She did her first FET since her lost on the 25th of January. She tested for the first time early this morning and got a BFN. My heart sank and I literally felt sick at my stomach. I ached for her. Then I realized, it may still be too early to test! She could still get her rainbow BFP! I have prayed she would get it. She lives only about an 1 or so from me. If we knew each other better, I swear I would be over at her place tonight. So, if you are reading this, just say a prayer for BD for me please. She deserves a rainbow. She has been an amazing support and wealth of info for me on the ‘next steps.’