James and I sat on the couch the other night and watched a movie. It was The Invention Of Lying. * Spoiler Alert * At one point in the movie the main character’s mother passes away. Now the ‘before’ me would have been bawling her eyes out. Any time I would watch a movie where a parent died, or ally anyone for that matter, I used to cry. It reminded me so much of the passing of my father when I was young. But sitting there on the couch with James the other night. I didn’t shed a single tear. I found myself unmoved by the death of his mother. I used to cry at sad parts of movies all the time. Is this how it is going to be from now on?
It was such a weird moment for me. To sit there completely emotionless. I almost felt alien in my own body. I should have been sitting there trying my hardest to hide the tears from James. Odd twist if I do say so myself. This whole horrible experience has changed me in ways I am still figuring out. I suppose I will find new things about it for years to come. You two left a lasting impression on me. You both made me a better person in so many ways. I just wish you could have lived to experience it with me my little Mogwais. Mommy loves you both so very much.