If you lost an arm

I read this today during my lunch break (now actually) and had to go to the bathroom to cry my eyes out for a bit. I found it so true that it resonated through to my soul.

If you lost an arm or a leg, people would notice and would be asking you all of the time how you’re getting along.  I doubt they’d tell you to just get over it, move on, and “God needed one more arm or leg in heaven so he took yours.”  Why can’t people “see” when child loss occurs that a large part of our heart has been cut off — half of our heart is missing!  If only others would acknowledge that, and sincerely ask, “How are you doing?  I’ve been thinking about you so much, and hurt with you.”  Just validating the loss of our child would mean so much!  We don’t need criticisms, judgements, or lectures on how fast we should be moving on.  Just show some genuine love and care — that would go a long way with parents of child loss!

4 thoughts on “If you lost an arm

  1. Sadly, so true. I’ve found since our twins died, very few people have asked how we are. We feel so alone. And worse, some people pretend like it never even happened. Just 5 weeks after I gave birth to our twins, my husband and I attended his brother’s wedding. We were shocked that out of all the people we knew there (around 20), only 2 mentioned our sons (and 1 of these told us to move on). It still hurts me that so many people chose not to acknowledge that we had two sons, and they died. They all acted as if I’d never even been pregnant. I find it unforgivable and I think about it daily how heartless they all were.

    • This is happening to us as well. It hurts, and is infuriating. ((Hugs)) to you and your sons! Know you are not alone, and that at least one person fully acknowledges your children.

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