One person’s oops is another person’s dream

One thing I hate about Facebook, is that if someone you know comments on a photo of someone you don’t know…. it still shows up in your news feed.

Tonight my brother-in-law commented on a photo that broke my heart. All I saw was a profile picture of two young children, post a picture of a positive pregnancy test with the caption, “Oops!” Then there was someone else commenting with, “Better you than me.”

It is so unfair. Women get pregnant without trying, can build their family by accident, when all I wanted in the world was a family of my own. I had to spend 6 years of my life taking painful medication, opening my body up to anyone that wanted a look, reveal every detail of my sex life with strangers in the name of science, be poked, prodded,humiliated beyond belief, spend money I don’t have, take out huge personal loans, made to feel like less of  woman and wife, all for every shot I ever had to die in my arms.

Every day I hear, “It is better this way. Micropreemies have high risks of disabilities, etc. ” Honestly, I don’t care. I have cousins, friends, and family with disabilities that live happy lives. I could have given that to my daughters. But instead, I didn’t get the chance. I may never again either. I can’t conceive a child without countless hours in a doctors office and thousands of dollars. It will be 3 years before we pay off the loan we took out to bring the girls into this world for such a short time. We can’t take out another one until it is paid off. Then on top of that, we owe $5000 in hospital bills for the NICU. Don’t get me wrong, it is worth every penny. I would do it all over and over again.

My wish is that women realize just how lucky they are. Your “Oops” is another woman’s dream. Her only want in life. I wish for once, just once in my life….. I could oops.

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6 thoughts on “One person’s oops is another person’s dream

  1. I completely get what you mean. Hubbie and I have big debts from ivf too and I used to get so mad that my twins died yet I could not just try again. I had to pay lots and fly thousands of miles to do a fet treatment. Wish I was rich and could pay off your bills so you could try again. Hugs xx

    • Thank you. I always laugh and tell me DH if we ever win the lottery I wanted to set up a grant for IVF after twin loss in the girls’ honor. A woman can dream can’t she?

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