I took yesterday, my due date, off of work. I honestly didn’t know how I would react or what mental condition I would be in.
Overall, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was horridly emotional though. I cried a lot, but I made it. We went out to the girls’ graves and decorated them for Easter, and put a little something for St. Patrick’s day for their heritage. It looks really nice.
I was extremely saddened to see they have a new infant neighbor though. That hit me hard. I didn’t expect to get so emotional over someone I had never met before, but I did. My girls have a set of b/g twins to their left and now a little girl to their right. I hope they are all playing together as I write this.
Yesterday, hit that last milestone before the girls’ 1st Birthday. I’m oddly relieved. I no longer have to think about the, “I should be this pregnant” thoughts anymore. Maybe things will get easier for a time. There still isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t cry and think of Willow and Hazel, and I don’t expect that to change. I do think it will get a bit easier in time though. All things in time.