Well, I survived another encounter. We had a work lunch today and I had this feeling I shouldn’t go, but I did anyway.
I got to sit near someone who announced their wife was pregnant. Then the two people discussed birthing, and if they were going to learn the sex before birth, due dates, and doing at home birth because it was much more natural.
I held back my tears and sat through it, at one point I pushed my chair back and almost darted for the door. I almost couldn’t take it. I felt trapped and alone. I hurt so bad to hear it all. I will never put myself in that position again. No more work lunches. I’m sick at my stomach and burning up now. I hate the person I have become.
Lord, why do you continue to test me? To put me in situations that hurt to the core? Why sit them near me? I trust you God, but I don’t understand your ways. Just help me get through the rest of the day.