I read an article on MSN today that said a woman is pregnant with twin girls after having her ovaries removed 7 years ago due to cancer. In a remarkable procedure, they grafted cells from her ovaries to her abdominal wall in 2010 and again in 2012. She was able to produce two eggs. They then placed those eggs into her uterus, she became pregnant. Now, I was in awe of this. Then, I made the mistake of reading the comments on the article which included (not exact wording):
Why spend thousands of dollars on this when you can just adopt. Someone needs to get their priorities straight.
Wow, what a horrible thing to do. Pass on your cancer genes to your children.
Nice way to pass on genetic defects to the next generation.
I was sickened. I can almost bet that these comments were made by fertile, Cancer free, individuals who have no idea what it is like.
Many people have come to me and said, “Why not just adopt?” It is a good question, but also an inappropriate one as well. James and I have considered adoption, and we would love to adopt a child one day. Financially though, it is not possible right now. “But how can you afford IVF and not adoption?” Easy. It is about a third of the cost, plus on top of that, our insurance pays a healthy chunk of it. We can get a personal loan for the few thousand we needed for IVF, we however could not get the almost $30k loan for adoption. Not right now anyway. Then, we were told it could still take years. Things could fall through. I’ve personally seen it happen. A loving couple paid many expenses for a young pregnant woman, who a few days before her due date ran off. They had to experience loss too. The awfulness of taking clothes back to the store, packing away a never used nursery.
There are risks with both options. I am not against adoption. I would love to adopt one day, to give a loving home to a much wanted child. Please don’t judge me, I have been judged enough. Please don’t judge others for choosing IVF. Please don’t judge those who choose adoption. Please don’t judge those who choose to live a child-less life.
If it’s not happening to you, you have no idea.