Today I feel closer to the girls. I have ALWAYS loved Hallowe’en. Even going through all I did last Halowe’en, we still celebrated. I was on bedrest. So we put down a brown fitted bed sheet, I used a blue comforter, and I wore a black and white night gown. I was a beached whale!

I think I feel closer to them because of the spirit world. The bridge between the living and dead is supposed to be slightly open on Hallowe’en. More visible. I hope that’s true. I really broke down last night. I bawled while holding their pictures and watching videos of Hazel.

So today, I spent the morning listen to “This is Hallowe’en” from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack, I wore my ‘NightMEOW on Elm Street’ t-shirt, wore a spider butterfly in my hair, and am daydreaming about how I would have dressed my beautiful little girls up. They should just be shy of 11 months old.

It is a happy-hard day. I miss you babies, hope you are having a Happy Hallowe’en with Papaw.


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