THAT question…

All mothers of loss know it, some dread it, some avoid it, but it always seems to come up, doesn’t it?

Today at church, a couple we didn’t know sat next to us. They had a toddler with them giggling and having a good time. After the service, DH and I tried to get out quickly, because I knew what was coming. She kept looking over at us, I could tell she didn’t know who we were and wanted to know.

We have only been to this church 2 times, and everyone seems to know one another even though between the two services there are usually about 2000 that attend.

We weren’t quick enough. “Hi, I’m Brittany and this is my husband Mark. That is little Malachai. (Names changed). What are your names?” We politely answer while trying to make our way out. Didn’t work.

She then proceeded to ask us where we live, were we work, why they haven’t see us here before, are we coming back, are we looking for a church etc. without ever answering any of the questions herself. When we finally thought the interrogation was over, we get THAT question. Do you have kids?

I broke down. I started crying. I was exhausted from the questioning, and the up and down of church. Through tears, we explain. She never offered an apology, or anything. Then tells us about her son.

It was all very awkward, and I don’t want to go through it again. Neither does James. He wants to look at other churches. I told him, it doesn’t matter where we go, we will get that interrogation from long standing members, and THAT question will always be asked by the women there. A question I will never ask anyone.


4 thoughts on “THAT question…

  1. I HATE that question. Seriously I hate it. It never gets easier to answer no matter how long it’s been if you have other children. I wrote a blog post pointing out that there are just hardly ANY people who find that question totally easy to answer. So people should just not ask it – at all. Hugs x

  2. That question will forever be complicated for us…

    I wish people thought more about it before they asked it. I’m sorry 😦 I sometimes wonder if it will ever get easier to answer?

  3. So sorry you had to go through that, people can often think they’re being kind and friendly but unaware of what people may be going through. I lost my dad to cancer and my younger brother in a car accident. So I too have experienced those awkward, unintentional moments of pain through people who may mean well but have no understanding of what others may be going through. Praying for the Lord to wrap His loving arms around you and your husband and carry you through this difficult time with His peace which surpasses all understanding.

    “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

    “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

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