Willow’s Angelversary

1 year ago today, I held you for the first and last time, Willow. You were handed to me in a soft purple blanket while there was still a faint heartbeat. I took in every second. Memorized every detail of your beautiful existence.

You may have only lived for a little over 16 hours, but in that time you knew more love than most do in 80+ years. I am eternally grateful for your life. I’m just sorry my body failed you.

Love always,



10 thoughts on “Willow’s Angelversary

  1. Your body didn’t fail u hunny. We all think it at times but please don’t be so hard on yourself and blame yourself for why they didn’t make it. I’ve done it and doesn’t help:(

    Thought of both of your little ones as I walked past the church today. I hope that maybe all four of our children have played nicely together at some point up there.

  2. Yesterday I stood at Avalon’s grave and sobbed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” No matter what anyone says, my body failed her. It failed to do it’s job and that’s the only reason she died. Even so, it didn’t happen on purpose, so beating ourselves up about it isn’t right, either.

    Thinking of you and your girls.

    • I think that’s the kicker too. It didn’t happen on purpose, we never wanted it to happen, we never thought it would happen. It just did. We didn’t do anything wrong, we couldn’t have prevented it. That’s what I struggle with most. I was as helpless as they were.

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