**Triggers** Rainbow Birth Story

I know I have posted this before, but I have many new followers now. I want to post about our Rainbow Birth Story that was featured on Pregnancy After Loss Support. It talks about my fears and the guilt that comes with a Rainbow.

The journey to a rainbow is a scary one. My son wouldn’t be here if not for my daughters and I thank them everyday for him. Embrace the life growing inside of you. Embrace pregnancy again. Love your body for carrying this rainbow. You can’t choose your ending, but you can sure fill the middle with love.

The Article can be viewed here:


One thought on “**Triggers** Rainbow Birth Story

  1. This has come at a very relavant time. Ive found that I had a disconnect during my pregnancy. And while I love my son to pieces, I guard my heart. I have been waiting for some thing horrible to happen to him and be taken away too. I have a hard time imagining his future. I wish so badly I could be naiive and have nothing but boundry less love and imagine 100 times over what he will be like and look like as he gets older. Who will he be? But I find myself wondering if he is still breathing, does he have the bowel disease my daughter had, whay if he picks up some bug that will endanger his life? What if I or someone else trips & falls with him and kills him? What if I drop him on the head? What if as Im driving someone will hit and kill us? Or him?
    Im so worried about his life.
    I also have quiet moments with him and reflect on my daughters life and what it was like to hold her, what she smelled like, what it was like to kiss her forehead or have her lay on my chest. Just as Owen does. All the moments I miss and have missed.
    There are many times I look at his sleeping face and I see hers. And tears just flow endlessly.
    It will be 4 years this August since she left abd my heart aches for her every day. Ill never get over it. In fact Im certain my son will remind me of her lots. And of all the moments we missed.
    I find it hard to reconcile how Owen wouldnt be here had she lived. And how I would have done anything for her to have lived. Having a baby after a loss is not strait forward. I knew it wiuld remind me of her. I just didnt imagine how much.

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