8 years ago today, I married James. We don’t have a fairytale marriage. Not at all.
‘“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the cat. “We’re all mad here.”’
In fact, some people might even look at the last 8 years and describe them as a conglomerate of Heaven and Hell mixed.
“If I was going through fucking HELL, I’d only want one person in the whole goddamn world by my side.”
We’ve made a lot of our little chunk of Heaven and Hell public, hoping to help others. But there is still a lot that most don’t know. Things that many couples never make it through.
“You don’t understand.”
“It’s not about understanding- it’s about not giving up!”
We’ve had to learn to start over, from the very beginning. To learn to love each other again, and we did.
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
We’ve beat impossible odds, and crawled out holding each other up.
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
We are first and foremost, friends. There have been so many times I didn’t need a husband, I needed a friend. Someone who wouldn’t talk to me as a husband would, but as a friend. That person who picks up the pieces when another breaks your heart. Who no matter what, if still there for you.
“My dearest friend, If you don’t mind
I’d like to join you by your side
Where we could gaze into the stars
And sit together now and forever
For it is plain as anyone could see
We’re simply meant to be”
People fall in and out of love all the time. I wanted to love my best friend, so no matter what, we could always come back. We could always make it through. I didn’t fall in love with my best friend, I walked into it.
“I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”
So, here’s to 8 years of ups and downs, Heaven and Hell, and sorrow and joy, with my best friend by my side. Not to 8 years of marriage, because anybody can do that.
Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’
Tim Burton’s ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’
The movie ‘What Dreams May Come’
Kiersten White’s ‘The Chaos of Stars’