My Name is Krystal. I am the mother of three beautiful children, parent of one. My first two children were highly anticipated after almost 5 years of infertility treatments. My two daughters are now beautiful twin girl angels. Willow Anne lived for 16 hours and Hazel Jaymes lived for 8 days. For what seemed like an eternity I had an empty heart and empty arms. I don’t know what to do or where to go from there, so I started this blog to write uncensored. Maybe someone else can find some comfort in knowing they are not alone.
**Triggers** Since our loss, we have welcomed our rainbow son into the world, Dexter. He is looked after by two of the best guardian angels. It was a long, scary, emotional, pregnancy, and now worry filled days. I created a separate blog for my rainbow journey. Please let me know if you are interested in reading that blog. **END Triggers**
If you have newly experienced loss, start in my archives. December 2012 is when I lost my twins to pPROM. The posts start out pretty dark, grief stricken, and lost. Although that never really went away, slowly I will see the light again. I warn you, these are all uncensored and show raw emotion. It may not be for everyone, but I know there are others out there who are lost and angry. I hope these writings find you and can help.
Mother of Twin Angels 
Krystal, you may not see this right now, but please take comfort in knowing your little ones are with God now and always safe from the terrible evils of the world we live in. Time will not heal your wounds as many have said. My philosophy is that those who say that have never suffered this loss. I have never experienced the loss you have though I have lost my daughter. My hope is that she has taken your little ones by the hands and is helping to guide them through. She was very much that way in her short life. You will learn of your inner strength during this terrible time. You will also learn that people experience grief in many different ways. Be gentle with yourself…allow the anger, tears, frustration etc that go along with this. Know that I am here for you if you need to talk. Please be aware that when you hear of someone suffering as you have, you will relive this experience. The best any of us can hope for is that by reaching out, we can give help where it is needed. I’m proud of your bravery and glad that you have taken the first step toward helping others and hopefully finding some comfort yourself.
My dear Krystal,
Having lost a baby that lived for three days only, an adult son and a husband, I know that there are no words I can think of to comfort you. All I can tell you is that you will be in my thoughts constantly. Turn to those you love for the strength to get through each day and when you feel a bit stronger, find something to do that gives you some pleasure: a beautiful sunset, a pretty flower, the ocean maybe.
If you were nearer I would give you a hug.
Sincerely,
Jill
Oh, and thank you for your comments on my blog.
Thank you dearly for your kind words ❤
“You loved your children undoubtedly, perhaps the heavens loved them more, may you find solace and peace in knowing, there is always hope, there is always love.”
Please accept this amazing award.
BEST MOMENT AWARD
http://lovingsweetisabelleskye.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/best-moment-award/
You have touched my life and enlightend my Word Press experience.
Xoxo – Tricia
Wow, thank you! This means a lot. Hopefully, I can brighten someone else’s day with this as well.
Dear Krystal, So sorry for the loss of your beautiful twin angels. I believe in writing from the heart and found it to be very healing for me. I want to thank you so much for nominating my blog for the “Best Moment Award.” I can’t address it right now because of my work schedule (I’m an artist and busy on a large project) – but I will later on. I am appreciate that you recognized my blog for helping others grieving. You and I are on the same path, I just began my journey many more years ago. I like that you are hopeful about healing; that is going to help you.
Can’t wait to dig into your blog and read your story. We lost our little girl 8.5 months ago at 24 weeks gestation due to preecpampsia. So sorry that you experienced this horrible pain, too.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hate that you have to know my pain. Love, light, and hugs virtually.
I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Congats!
http://finallypregnant2012.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/the-versatile-blogger-award/
Thank you!
Krystal,
I am a new follower. I am so sorry for you loss. I honestly cannot imagine. I look forward hearing your story.
God bless you and your family, Krystal. I commend your courage for sharing your thoughts and feelings and experiences. Not only does it help others, it is a wonderful tribute to your daughters.
Thank you, I appreciate the support. We all have to stick together. xoxo
What is the link to your other blog? I hope you’re doing well!
I was just reading your blog and noticed you had a rainbow baby, this made me smile. I recently a month ago lost my angel baby Savannah she was born at 32 weeks and was with us for 19 hours. She was our first as we struggled for 4 years to get pregnant. She was the most beautiful person we ever lasted eyes on. I had pprom at 20 weeks so our hope was on overload when she made it 12 weeks with no fluid. We decided to extend our family and we want to give her a brother or sister. I had a c section so it will be a little bit before we try. I am scared out of my mind on having another only because of all the struggles with our angel baby. I was hoping you could give me a little hope and advice on how to get through the grief and ttc after loss. Thank you for your blog!
Jessica
Jessica, thank you. I emailed you the link to my rainbow blog. I’m so sorry for your loss. Best wishes. Let me know if there is anything I can do. Even if just to listen. Hugs.
Hi Krystal! My name is Cameron and I was wondering if you’d be willing to answer a quick question about your blog. I can be reached at cvonstjames AT gmail DOT com – Thanks! 🙂
I’m so sorry for your loss. ~ Deanna
I like how your definition – “mother of three, parent of one.” No other children will ever make up for the loss of your eldest daughters, but hopefully from now on you will know only joy.
Thank you. ❤
I am very interested in reading your rainbow blog. I’ve lost twin boys at 20 weeks and a daughter to pPROM at 17 weeks. I’m currently pregnant again and wondering if you had a cerclage or not as I am faced with all of those decisions now. Thank you!
I emailed you at the address listed ❤